The Day I Quit Family Devotions

FamilyParenting
The Day I Quit Family Devotions

My wife Jenny and I are not very good at family devotions. For the longest time a “perfect picture” of what family Bible time is supposed to be kept me from attempting it, or worse, attempting it and always failing.

I had this picture in my mind of a family that meets for 30-60 minutes a night. The dad stands proudly before his family and opens the Bible, the children can’t wait in anticipation, and the wife treasures the whole picture counting herself so blessed to have such a “godly” man and family. Ha!

At some point, after many attempts to reach my idolized picture of family Bible time and failing, I decided to give up. Instead of standing and explaining the Word to my kids I was refereeing their behavior. Instead of them sitting on the edge of their seats to listen, they were asking, “Are we done yet?” Instead my wife being proud, she was left consoling a defeated husband.

“I’m just not a good ‘Christian dad’,” I thought.

“My kids just don’t like the Bible.”

“I’m a disappointment to my wife.”

“I guess they can just get it from Sunday school, Christian school, Youth group, or Awana.”

Then God did something amazingly ordinary. He opened my eyes to see that all of the frustration I had in regards to our family devotional time was not due to techniques or skills that I didn’t have, or a curriculum that I had not yet purchased, but the result of a heart that needed to change. The frustration, guilt, shame, and grown-man whining were all indicators that the issue was inside me, not outside. God led me to repent of the idol I had created of a perfect family devotional time. He freed me and my family from a weight of performance that we could never meet. He showed me that it was an unrealistic bar of excellence that kept me from opening the Word with my family and nothing else.

He reminded me of my finished position in Christ. In light of that truth I was freed to experiment without my hope being fixed on the outcome.

I started to simply grab the Bible every time our whole family sat down at the dinner table for a meal together. I started in Genesis 1. I read one chapter a meal. Not every night, but every time we shared a meal.

Not every night is perfect, and we still have to address behavior, but can I tell you something awesome that has happened in the last couple of weeks? First, most of the time I don’t even get the Bible down from the shelf anymore. My son gets it down, unprompted. Second, the last two weeks, when I’ve finished the chapter, my two oldest have been begging me to read more.

We are a weak gang. We are much more skilled at making a mess of things than making things perfect. But God is with us; He has spoken to us, and in His grace he changes us. Don’t let your failure to be what you think a “Christian” parent is supposed to look like keep you from being the primary pastor to your children. Repent of the idol that is either keeping you from spending time in the Word as a family, or is ruining your time in the Word as a family. And believe that God has given you the grace to shepherd your family in the truth. We are only in Genesis 47 now, and there have already been unplanned moments and conversations with my kids I can’t believe I would’ve missed out on if I had decided to give up or farm out the grace of reading the Bible as a family. It’s never too late!

Let’s read the Bible with our families.

This content was originally published here. Used by permission of Rooted Ministry, a ministry aimed at “educating, equipping, and encouraging student ministry leaders through conferences, communications, and connections.” You can read more about Rooted Ministry here.

Joey Turner is a young husband and dad who is obeying the Spirit’s prompting to evangelize and equip parents and students in Beavercreek, OH through the written Word. He is privileged to be married to his wife Jenny, with whom he has three amazing children. Joey serves as the Pastor of Student Ministries at Patterson Park Church in Beavercreek, OH.

Sola Newspaper

Today's Offer

Sola Newspaper

A quarterly print publication featuring articles on theology, the confessions, & reflections for the Christian life, delivered straight to your mailbox. For free.

Subscribe Now

More on this topic

Three Things to Teach Your Kids from the Book of Acts

Paul describes the teaching of the gospel—all that is needed for salvation—as “the whole counsel of God” (Acts 20:27). Our kids need that counsel, too. Read through Acts with them! Explain the stories. Help them see the goodness, power, and love of the God who made them and sent his Son to die for them.

A mother holding and bottle feeding her baby.

Weary Mothers and the Way Everlasting

I feel like motherhood brought the curse nearer to me. I feel like it dropped me on the far side of the sea as I watched my body and my mind unravel into threads only to be wound back up with anxiety and worry. The suffering of a world so infected by Adam’s fall has […]

A mother and daughter sitting together in a church pew.

When Mother’s Day Misfires

I’ve rolled into church many a Mother’s Day morning with a heavy heart and deflated expectations. There were years of singleness, and then miscarriage, when I felt invisible in the pew, wondering if I would ever wear the title of “mother” myself. Then came holidays where I felt steamrolled by the demands of raising babies […]

The hands of a basketball player putting a ball through the hoop.

March Madness: What Fandom Reveals about Kids in Worship

My wife, my kids, and I were on our feet—shouting, jumping, cheering like crazy—as Iowa State fan favorite Tamin Lipsey splashed a clutch three-pointer with 15 seconds left to tie the game. For a moment, it felt like pure joy. Then, just 15 seconds later, we were all equally devastated as Arizona hit an impossible […]

Help more people know what they believe and why.

Support trusted articles, podcasts, and resources that deepen faith, point people to Christ, and strengthen the church.

Give Monthly