When I was little, my dad read to me “Methuselah,” an allegory of Christ’s work on the cross designed for children, featuring a family of raccoons. I remember being moved to tears when a good and loving raccoon died for one who was treacherous. That wasn’t the only time I was moved to tears by the gospel when I was a kid. My mom prayed with me to receive Jesus and I was emotional as I prayed, overwhelmed by the enormity of it all.
Not everyone has memories of hearing their parents talk about Jesus. Some of you didn’t have Christian parents while others had parents who outsourced all talk of Jesus to Sunday School or Christian school teachers. Then again, some of you might have had parents who would pray before meals and bed, but never talked about Jesus. If you are trying to stumble through how to talk to your kids about Jesus now, you’re in good company!
In Deuteronomy, God instructs his people: “You shall teach [his law] diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise” (Deut. 6:7). What might this look like for you? Here are a few starting points:
Talk with them about Jesus at dinner.
In some circles, we call this “family worship.” I don’t like the term because it seems to dress up the fact that kids are often spilling drinks, falling out of chairs, and constantly interrupting to talk about something totally unrelated. But dinner is a great time to talk about Jesus because everyone is in the same place at the same time.
I have tried and failed at this countless times. (Thank God for a loving and diligent wife who reads the Bible with the kids in the morning!) Currently, I am going through a book that gives an overview and some key passages of each book of the Bible, with questions, and a “salvation thread.” We pray before and after and probably do this two to three times a week, when I’m home.
Talk with them about Jesus when you’re struggling.
Although Timothy was not the Apostle Paul’s physical son, Paul referred to him as “my true child in the faith” (1 Tim. 1:2). And his heart was open and humble before his spiritual son. He talks about how he once was a “blasphemer” and “persecutor,” but that Christ Jesus saved him—the worst of sinners—to display his perfect patience (1 Tim. 1:12–16). How can we imitate Paul with our own children?
This is an area where I have seen the Lord’s grace at work. Although I’ve struggled to stay disciplined in leading regular family devotions, this is where I more easily connect with my kids. As an Army chaplain, I am broken…a lot. Perhaps one of my soldiers dies, or I can’t help keep a marriage together, or I feel the ache of past wounds.
I used to hide these things from my kids, but my parents showed me the value of letting your kids see you bring your wounds to Jesus. My wife and I tell our kids when we are going to counseling and explain to them that this is how we’re bringing our marriage to Jesus. Sometimes, barely able to talk through my tears, I ask my kids before bed to please pray for Christ to be glorified through something really difficult.
Talk with them about Jesus when they’re struggling.
Paul wrote a second letter to Timothy, his “beloved child” (2 Tim. 1:2). This time, he doesn’t reflect as much on his own weakness as he does on Timothy’s struggles. He knows Timothy’s tears, his fears, and his shame. (2 Tim. 1:4–8). How do we effectively engage our own children in this way?
In my experience, our kids talk with us about their struggles when we talk with them about our own struggles. This is especially true when we take their struggles seriously and with humility—“Buddy, I really struggle with that too…” Here are a few things my kids have brought to me (and they have brought way more to my wife):
- “Dad, why does God let babies die?”
- “Dad, how do I talk to my friend about Jesus?”
- “Dad, how do I talk with people who change their gender?”
- “Dad, can we pray for my friend who doesn’t know Jesus?”
- “Dad, can we pray for my friend whose dad died?”
All of these are opportunities to both pray with our kids and wrestle through their worries and aches before Jesus. We can talk about our own struggles with the Lord’s providence, and how we go before the Lord in prayer and rest before the truth of his word and of his sovereign grace. We can talk about what God’s word actually says about his character, providential purposes, and redeeming work in Jesus. “Dip the pen in your own heart,” Spurgeon would advise. By God’s grace, your kids will do the same.
