FAQ: Should Christian Parents Cut Ties with Children Living in Sin?

2 Thessalonians 3:6 says, “Now we command you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you keep away from any brother who is walking in idleness and not in accord with the tradition that you received from us.” Is the apostle Paul saying here that we should “keep away” even from our own children if they’re living sinfully? Should we completely cut ties with them?

To begin answering this question, it’s helpful look at what the Bible teaches about judging members of the church. Paul says in a different letter that it’s not our business as Christians to judge those outside the church. But we are called to judge those within the church (1 Cor. 5:12–13). When there’s someone who professes the name of Christ but lives in lawlessness and has just rejected the Lord, we distance ourselves from him. This is how the church exercises discipline.

The goal of church discipline is restoration. We want the unrepentant sinner to recognize that his soul is in peril because he’s turning away from the Lord. That’s a serious thing.

But what about family members? What about our children who may have been raised in church but have walked away from the Lord? This is a sticky situation, but I wouldn’t say that a parent should cut their child off. You want to tell him the seriousness of their situation, especially if this child still professes faith and knows the truth of God’s word. So, you talk about what the Bible says. You call him to follow Jesus. But I don’t think that you should just say, “Well, I’m through with you.” You want the door to stay open to come back.

In the parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11–32), there’s an open door. The son runs away and squanders his father’s inheritance. He knows that he’s let his father down and finally comes to his senses. And then he goes home. He thinks, “Well, is my father going to accept me? Maybe I can just be a servant in my father’s house.”

But the father, when his son returns, displays for us God’s love for his lost sheep. The father welcomes the prodigal who’s been on the run for so long. He throws a party for his son and says that his son was “dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found” (Luke 15:32).

So that return is what we pray for. That’s what we long for. In the meantime, we speak the truth our children in love and keep our doors wide open for their return. And we ask God, by the grace of the Holy Spirit, to bring them home.

This article is part of our Frequently Asked Questions series. Listen to Pastor Adriel answer this question on Core Radio here.